I'm a single mother of four boys. I was raised in the church as both my parents are preachers. However I lived a life of secrets, lies, pornography, mental illness and so fourth. I really want to be saved but can't seem to stop doing negative things. I know if I give my life to God things will be better. I just can't stay saved. I know God wants better life for me and my children whom my parent have custody of. It also seems that out of no where I've been meeting people who don't believe in God and therefore I often become afraid to say I do, but then again I'm afraid of everything. So today my hr office sent me an email about something that unbeknownst to them-I lied about. Lord knows I need my job however while I was sitting down thinking the spirit said to me, don't worry just fast for three days. Now I know I'm a sinner so maybe this was all in my head but for some reason I'm just not worried. Something is actually showing me someone at my job fishing for something but at the same time I see that person leaving the job and leaving me alone. I wish these things could be true but I'm such a liar and loser that God can't use me. Please pray that I get saved, find a church, find a saved husband and friends. Please pray that i keep my job as well. Thank you.
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